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Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Real love isn’t about never fighting—it’s about feeling safe enough to stay connected, even when you do.
You’ve built a life together—but emotional closeness still feels out of reach. Caught in a cycle of disconnection, you crave intimacy… but brace for conflict.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy is for couples who:
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- Feel more like roommates or business partners than romantic partners.
- Keep having the same argument on repeat, never really resolving it.
- Are navigating a rupture—infidelity, betrayal, or emotional withdrawal.
- Long for more closeness, but don’t know how to get back to each other.
- Struggle with mismatched emotional needs—one of you shuts down, the other leans in
- Want to deepen their emotional intimacy, not just manage conflict
- Know they love each other… but feel miles apart
What is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT)?
EFCT is an evidence-based model of couples therapy that helps partners repair emotional disconnection and rebuild secure bonds.
It’s rooted in the science of adult attachment and focuses on helping couples identify the negative cycles they get stuck in-and replace them with new ways of reaching for and responding to each other.
Think of EFCT like a map for closeness.
It’s not just about solving surface-level problems. It’s about understanding the deeper emotional needs behind your fights-and learning how to respond to each other with empathy instead of reactivity.
When partners feel emotionally safe, everything else-communication, intimacy, trust-starts to shift.
I’ll guide you in slowing down the reactive cycle you keep getting caught in—whether that’s one of you withdrawing while the other pursues, or both of you shutting down altogether.
We’ll identify the emotional patterns driving your disconnection and create space for honest, healing conversations.
My approach is direct, affirming, and rooted in the belief that most relationship issues are not about incompatibility—they’re about unmet emotional needs. EFCT gives us the tools to meet them—together.
How EFCT Works
In our sessions, we won’t just talk about your relationship—we’ll work inside it.
We’ll start by mapping your negative cycle, so you both can see it as the problem—not each other.
As we move through the EFCT process, you’ll practice expressing your emotional needs in real time and responding to your partner’s needs with more understanding and less defense.
You can expect to feel more seen, heard, and emotionally connected—with yourself and each other.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy can help you…
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Rebuild emotional safety after ruptures or disconnection
- Shift from blame and defensiveness to empathy and understanding
- Communicate your needs without escalating conflict
- Identify the negative cycles keeping you stuck – and interrupt them
- Restore trust and intimacy, even after hurt
- Negative conflict with compassion, not combat
- Feel seen, valued, and emotionally supported in your relationship
- Create new patterns that feel secure, not reactive
- Unpack generational messages about love, gender roles, and emotional expression
- Create space for softness and vulneranility in relationship built on survival
- Heal together from the wear and tear of reacial trauma, success stress, and silence between partners
- Reclaim emotional safety in a world that often asks Black couples to be strong but not seen
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You deserve a relationship where being vulnerable doesn’t feel dangerous.
FAQ's
Q: What makes Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFCT) different from traditional couples therapy?
A: EFCT doesn’t just teach surface-level communication skills. It goes deeper—helping couples identify and shift the emotional patterns that keep them stuck in conflict or distance. We focus on the root of the disconnection, not just the symptoms.
Q: We’re successful in every other part of life—why is our relationship the one thing that feels so hard?
A: Many high-functioning couples are used to managing stress by pushing through, staying busy, or keeping things private. But emotional intimacy requires slowing down, being vulnerable, and breaking cycles that no one taught us how to name—let alone change. EFCT helps you build that safety, together.
Q: Can EFCT help if there’s been infidelity or a major rupture in our relationship?
A: Yes. In fact, EFCT is one of the most effective approaches for helping couples rebuild trust after a betrayal. We’ll work at a pace that feels safe while exploring the pain, the needs underneath it, and the steps toward true emotional repair.
Q: Is EFCT supportive for Black couples or culturally diverse partnerships?
A: Absolutely. This method honors emotional expression, attachment needs, and the unique ways cultural expectations, family dynamics, and racial trauma impact relationships. I tailor every session to the identities and lived experiences of each couple I work with.
Q: What if my partner isn’t sure about couples therapy?
A: It’s normal for one partner to feel unsure or hesitant at first. That’s why the first few sessions focus on creating safety for both of you. This isn’t about blame—it’s about understanding what’s been happening between you. I create space for both partners to feel heard, respected, and supported throughout the process.
Here to help you with:
Dating, premarital, and marital challenges
Unhealthy or ineffective communication
Unmet emotional needs and unclear expectations
Emotional disconnection or growing distance
Financial stress and money-related conflict
Infidelity, betrayal, or emotional affairs
Rebuilding trust and emotional safety
Decreased intimacy and sexual disconnect
You don’t have to keep missing each other.
Let’s work together to rebuild trust, deepen your connection, and finally feel like you’re on the same side again.